Asteroid Test

THIS IS A TEST. THIS IS AN ACTUAL TEST. HAD THIS BEEN AN ACTUAL ASTEROID EMERGENCY, THIS SIGNAL WOULD HAVE BEEN FOLLOWED BY INSTRUCTION FROM LOCAL, STATE & FEDERAL AGENCIES. THIS IS ONLY AN ASTEROID TEST.

 From FOXSports.Com TEAM REPORT as of 2:02 pm ET, Fri, Jan 5 2001

 By Jim Pauley

 INSIDE SLANT Following a convincing win over the University of Michigan in 1998, John Cooper addressed the media in a cramped classroom in the southeast corner of Ohio Stadium. "I don't feel like I've lost a game," Cooper said of his past futility against the Wolverines. "And I'm not going to take credit for winning this game today. It was our football team that lost. It was our football team that won today." Such was John Cooper as the head football coach at Ohio State University. He could be gracious. He could be likable. And he was the nice guy that finished last all too often. At least against Michigan, anyway. Cooper's allusion was unintentional that November day, but his words echoed those of Woody Hayes. "You win with people," Hayes used to preach. And, in light of Cooper's comment, Hayes' mantra might just as unintentionally have been interpreted as, "You can dame sure lose with people, too." Cooper, self-admittedly, was not a rah-rah type. He felt his players were responsible for motivating themselves. "If you can't get yourself fired up for the Michigan game," Cooper would say, "you shouldn't be playing at Ohio State." But the 18-to-22-year-old age bracket is a fickle bunch, and what worked for Joe Germaine and Bobby Hoying and Eddie George didn't necessarily jibe with Michel Wiley and Ken-Yon Rambo and Steve Bellisari. John Cooper was fired on Tuesday after 13 years at the Ohio State helm. He is the second-winningest coach in the history of the school, but the Buckeye community will forever focus on a few fallbacks in an otherwise fine record. One hundred eleven wins. 43 losses. 4 ties. But a 3-8 bowl record and two victories and a draw in 13 tries against Michigan will forever litter Cooper's legacy. Ohio State fans didn't so much grow up with John Cooper as they grew old with John Cooper. For literal proof, compare the coach's 1988 media guide mug shot to the 2000 edition. Figuratively, he got old with most Ohio State faithful too. Ohioans didn't initially take to Cooper's Southern drawl deep in the hallowed ground of Midwestern football. His hands-off approach on the sidelines didn't make anyone forget Woody Hayes, either. He lost several more bowl games than he won. And, more than the rest, his record against Michigan sealed his fate. When asked on Tuesday what he would do the morning following his firing, Cooper assured that he'd get up early. Finally free from the critics and pressure, the coach said he might just shovel snow or baby-sit his grandchildren. Heck, it sure beats losing to Michigan. A GLANCE AHEAD (2001): The search begins. Ohio State is without a head football coach for the first time in 13 years, and all signs indicate that the program won't take long to fill its vacancy. With recruiting season coming to a climax, Ohio state director of athletics Andy Geiger hopes to conduct a swift transition from John Cooper to his successor. Name-dropping is at an all-time high in central ohio, with everybody from Minnesota's Glen Mason and Pittsburg's Walt Harris to Seattle Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren being mentioned. But with Oklahoma's Orange Bowl win on Jan. 3, the smart money miight be on the Sooner's Bob Stoops. In his second season in Norman, Stoops has already won a national title. Does he have anything left to prove at Oklahoma? Will Geiger dangle enough dollars to lure the Youngstown native to Columbus? Chances are we'll know very soon. BEST GAME: The 4-0 Buckeyes returned to their roots in early October against Wisconsin, reeling off 249 on the ground and a season-best 5.7 yards per carry in a 23-77 win.. Senior Derek Combs led Ohio State with 122 yards and two touchdowns, including an 80-yard scamper to open the scoring. TURNING POINT: Coming off a dominating 23-7 win at Wisconsin, the Buckeyes admitted they came out flat against Minnesota in Ohio Stadium. Flat from start to finish, No. 5 Ohio State fell 29-17 to the Golden Gophers, beginning a downward spiral of five losses in the last seven games. WORST GAME: Uninspired from the outset -- the Buckeyes walked onto the field before the game -- Ohio State was embarrassed 24-7 by underdog South Carolina in the Outback Bowl on January 1, John Cooper's swan song as Ohio State Coach. 8-6-08 10:30 p.m. Rog The 9th floor provides "lined paper." Who knew? A December 1982 "National Geographic" provides a solid surface on which to write. Damn. I just leafed through - no sight of any bare West African mocha boobies. And I'm writing with a pen that, technically, I shouldn't have in my room (no sharp objects - / counter that "medium" point is, in fact, blunt.") I'm watching "Men in Black" (MIB, dog) which, admittedly, could be worse. I think PsychWard, I think movies with 1-word titles -- "Heidi," "Rudy," "Titanic." Well, maybe not "Titanic." Thanks so much for coming down tonight. As soon as you left, Andrea asked -almost insidiously - "Why was he here? Did you know he was coming? Did you ask him to come?" "No and no," I told her, all-the-while knowing that you would. Work of the Alien Robot God, I'm sure. Then, I bawled on her shoulder, telling her how fucking lucky I am. I will make it though [sic] this for myself. But I will be just as intent on doing it for my parents and my brother and for you and her. There's so much more to talk about and we will -- soon. Til then, I love you Jim

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